Thursday, November 11, 2010

Just plain tired.

Okay, I feel the need to start this off by saying that I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining!  I am still so very thankful for how the Lord has carried us through EVERYTHING.  I am not ungrateful or untrusting, or anything like that.  I know He is with us, and we are really doing well.  Sarah is still doing great!  In fact last night and today, it seemed like she was really showing her true, spunky Sarah colors!  So this little post is just a peek into how I am feeling because emotions are just what they are sometimes, right?  We are human beings after all.

First of all, I am missing my husband.  While I was in the hospital so much, he was so busy with all the daily household things that he got quite a bit behind on his work.  His work he gets paid for.  So, now that I am home, he has been so focused on that, I feel like I have barely seen him, even though he is here.  Hopefully he will be caught up soon.

I am tired of making Sarah drink all the time!  You wouldn't think 20-25 ounces a day would be too hard, but when you are a little 24 pound girl, I guess you just don't want that much.  Every day it is a battle to get her to drink which ends up at least once with her in tears, but they say if she doesn't drink enough, she will have to go back on fluids at night. Ugh. 

I am tired of going to the clinic.  Over the summer we went many times twice a week, sometimes staying for  hours, but it didn't seem that bad.  I guess it feels worse now because I am behind on school with the boys, and it feels like so much more of a waste of time now that there is so much more to do.  Also, since Sarah has to be away from people as much as possible, we don't get to hang out in the waiting room with the other families.  We have to be isolated in a room alone.  Yesterday we were there for 4 hours.  : (  Is it better than being in the hospital though?  Yes.  But that doesn't mean I can't be tired of going there.

Here's a sad little story from yesterday's clinic visit...I woke up tired in the morning.  I got Sarah all ready and we were out the door--a little late.  Cassandra was parked behind me, so I had to wake her up to get her keys.  And as I was putting Sarah in her carseat, she says,  "Poopy!"  Yep.  Love those last minute diaper changes.  So after that and moving the other vehicle, we were late.  They have never said anything about us being late before, but this time one of my favorite nurse techs there gently reprimanded me for it.  (Honestly, it doesn't really matter much since it is not a real doctor visit.  Just a blood draw.)  I was already tired, so I wasn't in the mood. 

Then we went to our room, and I knew we would be there for the time it takes to get a certain medicine she needs, which would be an hour, plus the time it takes to get the results of the blood draw.  Not too bad.  It turned out that even though her white blood cell count was still fine, her ANC was low, so she had to get nupogen, (sp?) and we had to wait for them to order it, get it infused, etc.  So, we took a little (I mean long) walk to the pharmacy and back while we waited. 

When we were finally all done with everything and on our way out, I realized I did not have my ring on.  The ring my hubby gave me when we were still dating, almost 20 years ago.  Where did it go?  Oh yeah, Sarah loves jewelry, and had asked me if she could wear it.  That little voice in my head had told me not to do it, but I had thought, "We are just in this little room and she is sitting on my lap.  Nothing will happen to it."  Well, that's what I thought before I promptly forgot all about it, and we went on that long walk to the pharmacy and back.   So, I searched the little room, retraced my steps, told all the nurses to be on the lookout, and called the hospital lost and found.  No ring. : (     I have been even more scatterbrained than usual lately because I have been tired and have this huge to-do list on my mind all the time since I have been home. 

So sad.

Sooooo...Sarah's appointment with Dr. Aaburg to check for that tumor is on Monday morning!  We are praying that that stinker will be ALL GONE.  Will you pray with us??  Then, we truly will be done with it all.  What a glorious day that will be! 

In the meantime, we press on.  Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

 More silliness!
 Reading with Josh
 Watching Barney with Ben.  Ben said, "Mom, I just want to spend some time with Sarah alone."  : )
 Ben did a little piano recital for us complete with tickets.  He made up some songs, and figured out how to play some real ones on his own.  I need to get to work teaching that boy!  (Another thing on my list...)
 Jacob sitting in the balcony
 Grandma and Grandpa were here for the concert too!  Ben brought the book to Grandpa and said, "Something for the little one..."  lol
 Me enjoying the concert with Josh ; )

Sarah so happy to be back on that trampoline!  (This time we put a sheet down on it to keep germs away!)


  1. Holly,love the blog! So sorry about your ring :0( I hope they find it. I have that same voice in my head everytime Hannah wants to wear my wedding ring when we're bored at appointments. Maybe I'll listen to it next time! We WILL be praying!

  2. (((HUG)))! I'm sure all of this gets so tiresome! Praying school gets caught up, your husband gets caught up, your ring is found, and that tomorrow's appointment brings wonderful news! Hang in there this recently: "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thing heart: wait, I say, on the LORD" Psalm 27:14 :)