It's time for class!

Okay, so I decided I would venture out of my comfort zone a bit today and whine a bit.  Here on my blog. Instead of just keeping my thoughts to myself.  Here goes... 

Do you ever feel like so many women these days in this old world we live in are losing every last bit of classiness by the day?

Do you ever look around and wonder why it is that these lovely women...on TV, movies, singing on the stage...what have you...feel the need to show off large portions of their bodies to every man in the country who happens to be watching?  And not only famous people, but as the weather gets warmer and I am minding my own business at my local supermarket, I have no choice but to view skin all the way up to these lovely girls' tiny little shorts, barely covering their bottoms.  And my hubby and boys don't have much choice either. 

Honestly.  Honestly, I really do not know why this has become the norm in our country. 

And I know I am really showing my old-fashionedness now, but why has it become the norm for lovely girls and women (and men too, but I am mostly just shocked by the girls,) to think nothing of cussing like drunken sailors in normal, everyday conversation?  So many things about the culture we live in amaze me, but this one just gets my goat for some reason.  Such vulgar, ugly words come spewing out of girls' mouths.  And it's all considered perfectly normal.  They spend so much time trying to make themselves beautiful on the outside, but let this trashy talk ruin it all when they speak.

Forgive me, but I just don't get it.

In case any of these ladies might be reading this post who may have gotten swept away by this crazy world we live in, and are thinking, "Hey, that's me..."

Could I ask you for a minute, do you really think that this way of dressing and acting is classy?  When you picture the kind of woman who would be your role model, do you picture someone who is baring half of what God's blessed her with for all to see and letting those 4-letter words rip? 

Let's bring some beauty and class back to our nation. What do you say? 

Thank you. 

My little venting session is over.  You may go back to what you were doing. 

Have a great day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hello, blog world!

I realize I haven't written on here pretty much all month long.  That is because of December hustle and bustle, of course.  And also...because...I have been thinking and thinking about what to say to put into words my feelings about Christmas. 

But this year for some reason, I have been thinking, how is it even possible to put into words the depth of emotion that I feel at Christmas time? 

Honestly.  GOD.  Coming to earth. 

To be with us and to be one of us. 

Immanuel. 

Wow. 

And all around us our senses are saturated with music and lights and tinsel and wrappings and coupons and sales and family and cookies...and more and more cookies...  and Santa Clauses and reindeer and reminders to keep Christ in Christmas. 

It all seems a bit surreal to me.  The world celebrates Christmas. 

Yet, so very, very many of those people in all their celebration hoopla are really celebrating--nothing at all. 

We watched Jim Carrey's version of the Grinch last night.  Little Cindy Lou keeps trying to find out what the true meaning of Christmas is in all the hubbub of the preparations.  Finally, at the end when the Grinch has stolen all the presents and even the roast beast, everyone realizes that it wasn't about those things at all. 

They all hold hands and sway back and forth singing "Da hoo Do ray," or whatever it is, thinking that they have figured it out.  And really, according to much of the world, they were right, I suppose.  Christmas is about being together and warm fuzzy feeings.  Right?  And maybe there was a Baby, and maybe there wasn't, but Christmas (or the "Holidays") is a special time to gather together with people we love.

OR MAYBE....

God made the human race.  He made you and He made me, and He loves each one of us with all of His Being. 

He loved us so much, in fact, that He gave us our own free will.  To decide if we would sin or not, and to decide if we would love Him or not.  What is the use of having an intimate, loving relationship with a programmed robot, after all? 

And so, He gave us the choice to know and love Him-- or not. 

He even knew that we would choose sin that would separate us from Him in His holiness, and He made a plan way back in the beginning.

 

A crazy plan. 

 The most loving thing He could possibly do. 

He would send His only Son.  Part of Himself--perfect and holy in every way.  Even starting human life as an embryo...Entering our wicked, fallen world, and being truly one of US.  Enduring hunger and sickness and pain and ridicule, and even temptation, so that we could really see Him and understand who He is.  And then finally being--Himself, in His death--the ultimate sacrifice. 

The ultimate Christmas gift.

 

The payment for our sin, so that those sins could be covered by that precious blood and forgiven, making it possible for us to be right with Him again.  If only we would accept that gift. 

If only we would just simply BELIEVE.  

And so, with Christmas being tomorrow, we have a choice.  Christmas maybe is simply a great big party about love and happiness and good cheer....

Or maybe Christmas really is the celebration of the birth of the one and only Savior of the world. 

The most important, life-changing event that ever happened.  

Oh, how He loves us.  

Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift.--2 Corinthians 9:15 

Merry Christmas.

Not everyone loves adoption...

"I love my adoptive parents, but I hate adoption."

"I wish I had been aborted."

"When I see pictures of families with obviously adopted children in them, I cringe."

"I hate 'stranger adoption.'"

"Children who are adopted from other countries are 'bought,' plain and simple."

Are you wincing like I winced when I read these things?  I recently happened upon a web page for teen/adult adoptees who want to vent their frustrations about adoption.  It was eye-opening and terribly sad, and downright scary for an adoptive mom to read discussion after discussion by these people who are so unhappy with their lives. Many of them did reassure everyone that they are generally happy, but hate much about what it means to be adopted.  Some of them had lived years in the foster system, and finally ended up in  adoptive families where they were abused or mistreated. 

Several said they would have preferred to have been aborted.  Many said they think it would be better for birth moms to abort their unborn babies rather than give them up for adoption.

It was heartbreaking to read those stories.  Heartbreaking because we live in a fallen world.  And even something as beautiful as adoption has an ugly and sad side.

All of us in the adoption community know and understand that in order for our treasured children to come and be our children, they first had to experience the saddest, most traumatic thing that a child can experience--the loss of their first family.  No matter how young they were when it happened, it is the same huge loss.  Many also have to leave the country of their birth, leaving them with so many questions that most likely will never be answered.  When you really think about that, you can imagine how difficult it would be.  Never knowing who your DNA comes from.  Wondering if you look like your birth parents.  Wondering why they gave you up.  Wondering if you are being disloyal to them if you love your adoptive family.  Do you have biological siblings?  I am sure these questions can be tormenting.  And I am sure that children who do not look like their adoptive families often face additional inner struggles.  When I was a kid, I just wanted to fit in.  How much more difficult is it for these children to feel like they "fit in" in the world?  Sometimes there is subtle or not so subtle discrimination out there that they may also have to face, and other things to battle that I can't even imagine, not being an adoptee myself. 

Yes, I am sure that as beautiful as adoption is, it does not always feel beautiful to these children.  I am painfully aware of that, and I already dread the day that our precious girl will have to find out that she has another mother who for unknown reasons, did hand her over to someone she trusted to take care of her...but never returned for her.  I hate it that I will have to tell her that more than anything I can imagine.  I hate it that she will have to struggle with issues that I never did.  I will always be sensitive to this fact, and will make it my goal to help her in any way I possibly can.

Now to the second part of my thoughts...

First, please know that I never want to appear to make light of or downplay any of these very real problems and feelings that adopted people experience.  I hope I've made that very clear.  But this is what I would have liked to have added to these angry, hurting people if they would have listened to me. 

They are not the only hurting people in this world. 

Countless children who live forever with their birth families are abused and neglected by them or others.  Birth mothers and fathers sometimes say horrible, hurtful things to their children leaving them with scars that might never heal.  Many people live with sicknesses.  Children get cancer and other illnesses.  Some have it "better" than others in this life, but NO ONE MAKES IT THROUGH untouched by something very difficult.  Nobody. 

So far this is one horribly grim post, I know, but that is the reality of this life.  This earth is not heaven!  There is SIN here.  Bad things happen because sin entered the world and it is here to stay.  Mothers and fathers were never meant to abandon their children, and children were never meant to be abused or neglected by anyone, but these things happen here on the earth.  That is the bad, bad news.

BUT....there is also very GOOD news! 

God made a way for our sins to be forgiven by sending His Son, Jesus to die on that cross and take our punishment.  We can believe it and trust Him to forgive us and save us!  AND, He will not allow this evil to go on forever!  The Bible clearly tells us that someday He will return and make a new, sinless earth.  All will be made right in the end, and vengeance is and will be His.  I don't know if you believe in the Bible or not, but if you study, you will find that nothing has ever been known to disprove it.  And there are so many prophecies in the Bible that have already come true.  If you read and study it, you will see what I mean.  If so many prophecies have come true, we can be sure that eventually they all will.  The Bible can be trusted!

And in the meantime, God is doing wonderful things here on earth, in spite of so much wickedness going on.  Adoption is one of those things.  The most heartbreaking thing to me was those people saying they would rather have been aborted than having been allowed to live.  I wish I could wrap my arms around them and tell them that they were created by God who loves them and has a purpose for their lives.   That they are infinitely valuable, and nothing that has happened to them can change that.  No one should wish they had never been born simply because life here on earth is hard. 

Like I said, all of us have had hard things to go through in our lives, but we can ALL overcome those things with God's help, and go on living in spite of, and even USING those things to our advantage and to help other people.  God does not waste anything that happens to us.  Maybe these adoptees could use their pain to work to make changes in our culture when others couldn't understand how it feels enough to do anything about it.  Maybe they could take what has happened to them and use it to choose to be the best mom or dad they can possibly be, or to reach out to other adopted children or birth parents, possibly helping them to keep their children.

The adoptees on that web page only vented anger and frustration.  Instead, they could choose to encourage each other and lift each other up.  They said they hated it when anyone told them they should be grateful that they were adopted.  But maybe they could CHOOSE to be grateful, and see if it doesn't make them feel better.  I am grateful to my parents for raising me.  Why would it be so bad for them to be grateful to their parents, or at least grateful to God?  Gratefulness is soothing to the soul.  Focusing on being thankful rather than bitter brings huge blessings in all of life!    It all comes down to a choice.  We can choose to be bitter.  Or we can choose to forgive and live life with joy and purpose.  I am praying for these hurting people, that they would find the Giver of true peace, and make the choice to forgive the people who wronged them.

I know this is a different kind of post than I normally write.  I wrote it because it's been on my heart, and since it's my blog, I can say what I feel.  Please, if you disagree with me, don't leave me a comment.  Like I said, I have nothing but compassion for these people, and I fully understand that it can be extremely hard for them in many different ways.  I am only trying to help THEM by suggesting they choose joy in the midst of their sadness.  (And I realize that some might need professional help and counseling.  These are just my thoughts in general.)

So far, our sweet Sarah (aka Red Light--yes, that is what she wants people to call her.  She is unique!), is completely happy and safe in her little world with us as her family.  We love her as much as we possibly can, and to her, we are Mommy and Daddy, and she loves us and knows nothing different.  I know it will become more complicated than that, but my hope and prayer for her is that she will always know that she is infinitely valuable, and that God can and will always bring beauty from ashes.  He has a plan for her life, and it is a beautiful plan.  She is a priceless treasure.

We love you, sweet girl, and are so very thankful for you!

We interrupt this program...

Hi there!

Well, nothing is really new with Sarah since a few days ago when I last posted.  She is still having a rough time and keeps saying "Eyes bugging you."  It's been a hard week.  She has long stretches of time during the day when she plays fine and seems okay, but then out of the blue she will start rubbing her eyes and crying nonstop.  It's pretty heartbreaking.  I can't wait for this part to be done.  Please pray that she will have comfort soon.

But the topic of this post is something different this time.  I want to talk about TV. 

When Sarah and I spend long days at the clinic, there is nearly always a television going nonstop in the corner.  Typically it plays Snow White (not sure why it's almost always that one), sometimes a different Disney cartoon, and then...whatever happens to be on Nickelodeon or Disney  ALL DAY LONG.  Those are supposed to be kids networks, right?  At home our kids are not allowed to watch TV all day like that, and they aren't allowed to watch anything we haven't previously approved, so they have never seen (at least I'm pretty sure they haven't) the programming that blares on in the corner all day.  Things like Hannah Montana, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody (did I get the spelling right on that one?), and, what's the other one...iCarly.  And I had never seen them either.  Normally while they are on I don't really pay any attention.

Well, one of the last times Sarah had to have a transfusion, she fell asleep in my arms, and there I was in a comfy recliner, in a different room, but still with a  TV in the corner, this time a huge flat screen, pretty much right in front of my face.  So iCarly came on, and I decided to really watch it and see what kind of stuff Hollywood is feeding  our kids these days.

That same show came on twice in a row.  The first episode was actually okay.  The characters didn't seem to be bad role models or anything, the plot was cute and kind of funny in a goofy tween kind of way, and I thought, "Huh...maybe I was too quick to judge these shows.  That really wasn't bad at all."

And then the next episode started.  The plot began that the main character, Carly's, relatives were coming over, and they were really dorky people.  They had a lot of food allergies, and they were annoying, and so terribly dorky that this very popular girl could not stand the thought of having to be around them for the couple of hours that they were going to be visiting.  So she was begging her best friend and brother to stay and keep her company while they were there.  At this point I was thinking, "Oh.  There is going to be a twist.  The dorky family is going to have changed, and her friend will end up having a crush on the cousin or something like that."    

I was wrong,  the family comes for the visit, and they are as nerdy as Carly said they would be.  Dressed out of style, socially awkward, the boy has a cone around his neck like a dog that's been to the vet...stuff like that.  The best friend takes one look at this family, turns up her nose and beats it out of there as fast as she can, and Carly is tragically left alone with them.  But the thing is, this family is really nice.  As friendly, smiley, kind and polite as they can be, oblivious to the fact that their cousin is looking at them like they are smelly animals.  She is forced to endure the hardships of playing games with them like Duck Duck Goose for hours until they finally leave with a smile and a wave.

The sub plot in the show involves Carly's other friend who is a boy.  He took up fencing unbeknownst to his mother, and when she finds out she is not happy.  Of course, she is the stereotypical out of touch parent while her son is the handsome, savvy cool kid.  When she tells him he has to stop fencing, he completely disrespects her and comes off as the hero who stands up to his mom.

So, I'm sorry to say that my hunch was right.  I was so disgusted with this show.  First of all, I was under the impression that America was becoming much more "tolerant," right?  I thought the concensus was that schools and parents should  teach kids to accept people as they are, no matter what.  I guess what they mean is, that "cool" kids should be tolerant within reason.  I mean, if people are dorky, it is totally fine to make fun of them, call them names (they did in the show), and basically think of them as unworthy scum because they look and act a little different.  Never mind that they are really nice people.  This was the message this TV in the corner was blaring to all the kids in the room.  I sat there wondering what people would have thought if it was an African American family coming to visit or a homosexual family.  But nerdy??  You guys are fair game. 

And the "cool" boy talking back so boldly to his mousy, doormat mom?  Why don't parents see anything wrong with this picture?  I sat there wondering how many parents actually sit down and watch the garbage going into their kids' minds. 

And in between episodes, and during the commercial breaks, there were little rock music videos and previews of upcoming shows.  You know what they were all about?  Boy/girl relationships. Really young teen girls singing and dancing--you know the kind of videos.   Flirting, tight clothes, even kissing...yeah.  And I am pretty sure these shows are marketed to kids my Jacob's age--like 10-12 probably?  Maybe younger.  Wow. 

Oh my...I am sad about the world our kids are growing up in.  The media pushes them to grow up so fast, be cool, like boys (or girls) disrespect authority, and still today in 2010, it is subtily or not so subtily fed to them that it is okay to look down on people who are not like you. 

Heaven help us. 

And suffice it to say that our kids are still not allowed to watch these kid shows.  I think some of what comes on the Discovery Channel is still good...