Christmas time!

December is zooming by, isn't it?  Christmas is in 12 DAYS!  I heard someone say that today, and I could hardly believe it!  We have been busy--well, I should say I have been busy.  My poor boys have been pretty bored, since we have had a lot of cold, but hardly any snow, which makes for long days in the house.  Sarah and I have been spending lots of time together, though...in the hospital, at the clinic, and at the surgery center where she gets her eye exams.  She had one today..........Still not a trace of a tumor anywhere!! 

Anyway, we have been trying our best to focus on Jesus and not this old world and all of its glittery trappings.  And in the midst of all the appointments, school, Christmas shopping and life in general, I have been doing it. Focusing on Jesus.  Just being quiet in the center of my soul, and thankful for what He did for us.  Really, isn't it amazing?  We are so wicked.  Really, we are.  The message at church on Sunday was about our sin, and how we truly are guilty.  Let's not sugar coat it, because our sin problem is at the heart of it all.  God made us for Himself, to glorify Him, and we are so saturated in sin.  We run from Him every chance we get.  I am so appalled at how my mouth is so quick to complain.  To talk about someone in not so nice of a way.  To be negative and bitter.  And, unfortunately, that is just a reflection of what is too often in my heart.  It's so ugly.  I am so sorry about it all! 

And yet, God in His mercy did not give up on us. On the contrary, He ran TO us.  Just think.  What if you were able to make a person.  You painstakingly created him, and your plan was to have a loving relationship with him.  You never once did anything to let him down, and gave him everything he ever needed.  But instead of loving you in return, he turned his back on you, broke your rules, and wanted nothing to do with you.  Wouldn't you give up on that ungrateful brat?  But God...He is so full of mercy.  He knows we are lost in sin.  He knows we are really made of dust.  He knows we can't do anything on our own to make that relationship right again.  So, instead of giving up, He continued to give.  He gave us a long letter, His very Word, to help us and teach us.  It spells out every little thing we need to know.  And He gave us His Son--part of Himself--to come here and be one of us.  A baby with a gassy tummy.  An awkward teenager.  One of us with all of our aches and pains and pimples and wrinkles.  He allowed Himself to be tempted, and put up with it so that we would know we could relate to Him.  That He would understand.  And finally He gave up His very life in one of the worst possible ways because it was the only thing that could be done to pay our sin debt.   He wanted us to see how very, very much He loves us, in spite of our wicked hearts.  What else could He possibly do to show us?  Nothing.  He did it all.  He sacrificed His life to take the punishment for our sins.  So that we could be FREE!  Free from sin, and free from guilt.  So that we could be righteous in His eyes, and have that perfect fellowship with Him, even forever and ever! 

It's just so amazing.

Christmas.  It's time to celebrate that amazing love.  Have a wonderful Christmas season, remembering how truly loved and blessed we are!

(And that was completely NOT what this post was going to be about, but it's what came out of my fingers when I started typing. Hope you enjoyed it!)  : )



Christmas shopping with a purpose!

I am short on time today, but I just wanted to write this post really quick...

I think it was early this year that I heard it.  It was a radio program hi-lighting a ministry that promotes awareness about sex trafficking.  I can't remember the ministry's name, but they are working diligently to help these women and children--rescue them, and get them started in a new life.  I remember being so entranced by the program.  Of course I had heard about sex trafficking before, but I had never really THOUGHT about it.  Now I was forced to really sit and think about it.  I was so moved and devastated.  I just sat in the grocery store parking lot listening and feeling helpless.  I don't know if I had ever felt so desperate to DO something, but I knew the problem was so immense, that there wasn't much I could do.  And I had no idea where to start.  So, I prayed for the ministry and the victims, and went on my way.

Fast forward to now... I am so excited to say that there is a ministry based right in the city where I live that is doing something to help combat this problem!  It is called WAR International.  They have a website with MANY ways that we can help.  How it works is, these brave workers go into these countries and rescue women and girls out of the sex trade, and bring them to "safe houses."  They teach them how to make something, and then sell those things here in America.  The jewelry they make is BEAUTIFUL, excellent quality, and very affordable!  They also sell gift baskets, some clothing, home accessories, and some really cute toys.

Anyway...I did some of my Christmas shopping at the WAR International store by our house, and I left feeling more excited than I have been in a long time.  Finally, something I can do to help combat this horrible problem!  And after the holidays I am going to have a home party to sell some of the products.  Just like T*pperware or P*ampered Chef, you can sell these beautiful products to your friends, and know the purchases are going to help change someone's life!  I talked to the store manager, and she told me that almost all of the ladies in one of the safe houses gave their lives to Christ.  I had my 6 year old, Ben in the store with me, and we were looking at the cool toys.  I told him about the store and how they are helping people get out of slavery.  His eyes lit up, and he said, "That makes me want to buy MORE things!"    I hope it makes you want to consider buying some things too. : )

There are more ways to help than just buying things.  You can find out all about it on their website:  http://warinternational.org/

Also, if you want more ideas for Christmas shopping, you can check out the 30 Days of Giveaways link on the right side of my blog page over there.  On the left side of that blog page, there is a whole list of fun "shops" with a lot of great stuff.  Most of them are handmade, unique kinds of things that people are selling for a good cause.  Go check it out!

Happy Christmas shopping, everyone!

Because of Cancer

I have a few quiet moments as I sit with a sleeping little girl in our hospital room. We are only here because Sarah's central line tubes broke, and they were repaired.  I don't have much time at home to just be still and reflect, since there is always something to keep me busy, or my mind occupied.  But when I am here I appreciate the quiet times, and my mind so often returns to thoughts of gratitude to God.

Because of cancer in our Sarah's life, I am so grateful to have had so many uninterrupted hours with her that would have seemed impossible to find in our normal home life.  I have learned more about her amazing little personality, and enjoyed her so much.  I have discovered precious gems about her such as her endurance and strength--her ability to trust and let go of all fear.  The way she laughs and enjoys life no matter what the circumstance.  I never would have known the extent of the strength of Sarah's spirit if we had not traveled down this road.  I would not have known my little girl the way I know her now.  


Because of cancer, I have learned about God, and I have come to know Him better than I ever could have apart from it.  I have learned in completely new ways that His promises are true.  When He says He will give us peace if we trust Him, He really means that.  I have questioned Him and trusted Him, and I know whatever the outcome of all of this, I would trust Him still.  He has shown Himself so real to me.  So real, that at times I have felt completely and totally surrounded and filled by Him.  I have learned that the worst, most scary things we can imagine are not so scary when God is walking with you through them. We can't ever fully understand that until something like this happens. I am thankful for cancer because of this.


Because of cancer, I have learned more about myself.  I was surprised to find that I have more faith than I thought I had.  (I know that was from Him.) I have also learned that that faith could so quickly disappear, and that God loves me either way.  I have learned that when I am weak, He strengthens me.  I have learned that I really do love adopted children every bit as much as any of my biological children, and that love is fierce.  I can survive on less sleep than I thought I could.  I appreciate my children and husband more. I have grown as a person in so many ways. 


Because my daughter had cancer, I have been made aware at the deepest level that childhood cancer is really here, and it is actually all around us, not some far away thing.  Sometimes every room on this floor is full.  I have gotten to know some of  the children and their parents.  I have developed sincere love and empathy when before I could only offer a helpless sympathy.  I am now able to reach these hurting families in ways I never could have before we walked this path ourselves, and I hope God allows me to use this throughout my life.


Because of cancer, I have met some of the most wonderful people I have ever known.  My life is richer just because I know them.  I watch these doctors, nurses and other staff come to work every day giving everything they have to these children and families.  They can't have a bad day.  They always have to keep smiling and loving because they know that their problems are really nothing compared to what these kids go through.  I am in awe of their energy.  They are not only nurses and doctors--they are counselors and friends, and everyone here knows that most if not all do what they do by choice out of love.


Because of cancer, I have seen the very best in people.  Friends we know well, less well, and even strangers have encouraged us, strengthened us, given of their time, money and resources to show us love.  My boys have learned through experiencing this what God's love in action really looks and feels like.  I am so grateful to every person who has had a part in our lives through this time. 


Our precious Sarah is the one who had cancer.  She has lived it beautifully.  Probably more patiently and joyfully than most people, or even anyone I know could have.  God has shown Himself amazingly gracious and powerful in her life through this, and even before that.  She already has an amazing life story, and she is not even three years old.  I truly hate cancer.  But I am grateful for it in so many ways.  I can only hope and pray that she will be able to see as she grows that even though it was not fair that she got sick , God is good through it all.  I have heard the quote, "Don't waste your cancer."  I made it my goal at the beginning to make that my goal.  To live each day with my eyes and ears open, waiting to experience what God wanted me to learn and gain through this.  I am thankful that I did just that, and that He poured His abundance out on me and really all of us, the whole time.  My prayer is that Sarah will know God and that same abundance He gives as well.  


This list really only scratches the surface of everything I could say about this.  I would never, ever hope for someone else's family to hear the news that cancer is in their family, but I want to encourage you that if it ever does happen, do not be afraid!  God is so good and loving.  He can and will use it for our good if we let Him.  

I can honestly say that because of cancer... I am thankful.

I'm BACK!!!

Hello, everyone who might still be checking in to read my blog after what seems like a long absence on my part...

My boys and I just got back from sunny Arizona where my parents live!  I love my family so much.  I loved every second of being with them all.  My two brothers and I all live in different states--different from each other and my parents, so it was such a treasured time all being together even if for just a little while.  I do wish Scott and my girls could have been there, but in some ways it was kind of nice.  A little break from toddlerhood days for a while. 

Waiting for the plane...First plane ride.  They were really excited!

Thanksgiving Dinner at my Mom's house.  Yummy!

My mom had a million presents for everyone. 

We went to a fun park nearby.  This is my sister in law with most of the kids.

Loving Arizona!

Ben loved Bella, my brother's dog so much.  I think I need to get him a little dog.  (We already have a big one!)

Here we all are...my brothers and their families and us!

Hunting for scorpions at my dad's house.  They did find one!

My dad treated us to the Natural History Museum.  Loved it!

And he also treated us to the science museum.  Here is Ben's favorite part--a stomach that made belching and other lovely gassy noises...

Spending time with cousins we never see. 

We climbed half way up a mile-high mountain with my dad.  So much fun!

This is what we came to Arizona to do...swim!

Aaaaah...Hot tub!

Ben said it was the BEST day of his life. : )

We said good-bye to this...

And we said good-bye to this...

But that's okay.  We came back to the snow!!  And the boys played outside all day. : )

We had a wonderful time, and Scott and Cassandra did fine with Sarah while we were gone.  She is still doing great, by the way!  I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving too!!

A Very...

Happy Thanksgiving to YOU!!!! 

Enter into His gates with  thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise:  be thankful unto Him and bless His Name!  Psalm 100:4

Our Little Spat

Every now and then I hope you don't mind if I stray from the topic of Sarah and the kids to something else.  Today it's something you can chew on.  And it's a personal story about a little "discussion" we had.  That's always a good read, isn't it?


So...remember in my last post I mentioned that the devil began to attack us after our great news.  First, Scott had to work a lot and I was really tired.  Then, Ben got that stomach flu, and if anyone is reading this who knows me for real, they know that when I say I hate the stomach flu, I really, really mean it.  I mean, we might get it in our house once or twice a year, and those days are the very worst days of the year for me.  That is how badly I hate it.  I get stressed trying to keep everyone else from getting it, and I am afraid of getting it myself.  And I do everything possible to avoid getting a germ from someone in the house.  I change clothes after hugging the sick person, I do not kiss my husband,  just IN CASE he might be harboring the germ without knowing it.  And this all came on the heels of me being in the hospital for a long time and he had a cold (and so we were not really snuggly then either...)  Well, things were stressful. 


So, he asked me out on a date on Friday.  Cassandra agreed to babysit, and I was glad to get out of the house.  I could tell that he wasn't very happy as we were leaving, so I asked him what was wrong. 


I will keep our conversation private, but suffice it to say that he told me something about how he felt about my behavior.  And it wasn't positive.  He wasn't mean, and it was just matter of fact, but he just laid it right out there on the table.


Well, that was just about all I could take right then.  Seriously??  You tell me this right now??  I was so hurt and angry.  My gut reaction was to go on and on about how we had the stomach flu in the house, and I just got out of being in the hospital for 3 weeks, and our daughter just got done having cancer, for goodness sake, and he wasn't exactly being Prince Charming either, and you get the picture.  I was just so hurt.  Oh, it was not a pretty sight in that car I am sorry to say. : (


We didn't go out together, I was so upset.  Instead, I went to the mall, and got some warm soup and hot tea at a book store, and planned on nursing my misery.  Only, something else happened.  As I sat there and stewed for a while, I also started praying about the whole thing.  And as I prayed, I decided to stop pitying myself and start thinking rationally about what he said.  And the more I did that, the more I realized he was right.  *GASP*!  Now, I knew he was not perfect either, and his timing for telling me how he felt was probably not the best, considering how stressed I had been, but the thing he told me was correct.  And I knew that I needed to repent and apologize, no matter how difficult that would be.  By the time I left for home, I was pretty well done being angry at him, and planning out what I was going to say. 


Things were strained that evening, but I did tell him that he was right and I was sorry, and I even refrained from saying anything to him about all the times he wronged ME... (You know how tempting that is.)


This is a very personal story, and I really didn't want to share our dirty laundry with you, but I did it for a reason.  Early in our marriage, I was very bad at this.  This scenario most likely would not have happened, because we both tended to be me-centered, and it was hard for us to apologize without pointing out the other one's faults.  When something icky came between us like this, sometimes it would take a long time for it to get resolved because we were both so stinking stubborn. 


But since I allowed the Lord to speak to my heart and do things His way, this little spat ended very differently.  My hubby apologized too, for making me so upset, and he admitted that he had not been the perfect husband either.  The rift was mended immediately.  I am not so scared about that stomach bug anymore, so we even smooched some. ; )  And today that man of mine was going out of his way to make me feel loved--including cleaning the kitchen for me.


There are two ways we can handle it when we are angry with our spouse.  We can get defensive and angry and nurse our pain, or we can think about what they said, apologize, and let it go.  Did you know that the Bible tells us all the answers about how we should handle every situation?  And if we just listen and obey, the result is always the best!  How I wish I had learned that part about being repentant and selfless a long time ago...but I hope you can learn it and use it in your marriage now!

Where have I been??

Oh, I've been here. : )  Thankful every single day for our wonderful news. : ) 

I haven't written in a few days, one, because I just wanted to sit on that last post for a while.  Why rush on?  And two, because every time God blesses your socks off, the devil comes in not far behind to try and steal your joy.

The boys all came to church with us for the first time in a while last Sunday, and Tuesday night, Ben had the stomach flu. : (  So, I was up all night with him that night, and it's hard to catch up on sleep after a full night of none.  Plus, I am freaked out over the stomach bug, so I have been working hard all week to keep it from spreading.  Sanitizing, sanitizing, harping at everyone to wash their hands, sanitizing some more...   I hate the stomach flu. 

A few other difficult little things popping up here and there let me know that the devil did not want me to have any fun.  But I'm sorry...a little old virus and other such bumps in the road will not take away my joy for long!!  Praise the Lord!!!

The boys and I are getting ready to fly across the country to see my family on Thanksgiving!!  Please pray that that stomach bug will be LONG GONE well before we leave.  Ben is almost all better, but not 100%.  I am still praying it won't spread, especially this close to that wonderful day.  I have not been with my entire family--mom, dad, both brothers and their families, all at one time, ever before!  It doesn't get much more exciting than that!  I just can't wait!