I am taking a quick break from cleaning as I work to get stuff done before our hospital stay tomorrow-Wednesday. I came across my little notebook I write down kid quotes in and thought I'd share a few more...
Josh age 6--"How do babies get there? Does God just open up your tummy when you're sleeping and pop-em in?"
Jacob age 7--When he was getting proficient at reading-- "Yep, I know how to read. Now all I have to learn is how to go underwater, and then all my learning will be complete."
Josh age 5--Scott's back was hurting and he said, "Why? Do you have a crap in there?" (Cramp!)
Jacob age 7--I didn't know that when I drink water it makes me stronger. Kinda like my transformer cyber key."
Ben age 2 1/2--I was telling him he could play outside and he said, "Yeah, man! Dude, you're good!" with a big thumbs up. ; )
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
We interrupt this program...
Hi there!
Well, nothing is really new with Sarah since a few days ago when I last posted. She is still having a rough time and keeps saying "Eyes bugging you." It's been a hard week. She has long stretches of time during the day when she plays fine and seems okay, but then out of the blue she will start rubbing her eyes and crying nonstop. It's pretty heartbreaking. I can't wait for this part to be done. Please pray that she will have comfort soon.
But the topic of this post is something different this time. I want to talk about TV.
When Sarah and I spend long days at the clinic, there is nearly always a television going nonstop in the corner. Typically it plays Snow White (not sure why it's almost always that one), sometimes a different Disney cartoon, and then...whatever happens to be on Nickelodeon or Disney ALL DAY LONG. Those are supposed to be kids networks, right? At home our kids are not allowed to watch TV all day like that, and they aren't allowed to watch anything we haven't previously approved, so they have never seen (at least I'm pretty sure they haven't) the programming that blares on in the corner all day. Things like Hannah Montana, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody (did I get the spelling right on that one?), and, what's the other one...iCarly. And I had never seen them either. Normally while they are on I don't really pay any attention.
Well, one of the last times Sarah had to have a transfusion, she fell asleep in my arms, and there I was in a comfy recliner, in a different room, but still with a TV in the corner, this time a huge flat screen, pretty much right in front of my face. So iCarly came on, and I decided to really watch it and see what kind of stuff Hollywood is feeding our kids these days.
That same show came on twice in a row. The first episode was actually okay. The characters didn't seem to be bad role models or anything, the plot was cute and kind of funny in a goofy tween kind of way, and I thought, "Huh...maybe I was too quick to judge these shows. That really wasn't bad at all."
And then the next episode started. The plot began that the main character, Carly's, relatives were coming over, and they were really dorky people. They had a lot of food allergies, and they were annoying, and so terribly dorky that this very popular girl could not stand the thought of having to be around them for the couple of hours that they were going to be visiting. So she was begging her best friend and brother to stay and keep her company while they were there. At this point I was thinking, "Oh. There is going to be a twist. The dorky family is going to have changed, and her friend will end up having a crush on the cousin or something like that."
I was wrong, the family comes for the visit, and they are as nerdy as Carly said they would be. Dressed out of style, socially awkward, the boy has a cone around his neck like a dog that's been to the vet...stuff like that. The best friend takes one look at this family, turns up her nose and beats it out of there as fast as she can, and Carly is tragically left alone with them. But the thing is, this family is really nice. As friendly, smiley, kind and polite as they can be, oblivious to the fact that their cousin is looking at them like they are smelly animals. She is forced to endure the hardships of playing games with them like Duck Duck Goose for hours until they finally leave with a smile and a wave.
The sub plot in the show involves Carly's other friend who is a boy. He took up fencing unbeknownst to his mother, and when she finds out she is not happy. Of course, she is the stereotypical out of touch parent while her son is the handsome, savvy cool kid. When she tells him he has to stop fencing, he completely disrespects her and comes off as the hero who stands up to his mom.
So, I'm sorry to say that my hunch was right. I was so disgusted with this show. First of all, I was under the impression that America was becoming much more "tolerant," right? I thought the concensus was that schools and parents should teach kids to accept people as they are, no matter what. I guess what they mean is, that "cool" kids should be tolerant within reason. I mean, if people are dorky, it is totally fine to make fun of them, call them names (they did in the show), and basically think of them as unworthy scum because they look and act a little different. Never mind that they are really nice people. This was the message this TV in the corner was blaring to all the kids in the room. I sat there wondering what people would have thought if it was an African American family coming to visit or a homosexual family. But nerdy?? You guys are fair game.
And the "cool" boy talking back so boldly to his mousy, doormat mom? Why don't parents see anything wrong with this picture? I sat there wondering how many parents actually sit down and watch the garbage going into their kids' minds.
And in between episodes, and during the commercial breaks, there were little rock music videos and previews of upcoming shows. You know what they were all about? Boy/girl relationships. Really young teen girls singing and dancing--you know the kind of videos. Flirting, tight clothes, even kissing...yeah. And I am pretty sure these shows are marketed to kids my Jacob's age--like 10-12 probably? Maybe younger. Wow.
Oh my...I am sad about the world our kids are growing up in. The media pushes them to grow up so fast, be cool, like boys (or girls) disrespect authority, and still today in 2010, it is subtily or not so subtily fed to them that it is okay to look down on people who are not like you.
Heaven help us.
And suffice it to say that our kids are still not allowed to watch these kid shows. I think some of what comes on the Discovery Channel is still good...
Well, nothing is really new with Sarah since a few days ago when I last posted. She is still having a rough time and keeps saying "Eyes bugging you." It's been a hard week. She has long stretches of time during the day when she plays fine and seems okay, but then out of the blue she will start rubbing her eyes and crying nonstop. It's pretty heartbreaking. I can't wait for this part to be done. Please pray that she will have comfort soon.
But the topic of this post is something different this time. I want to talk about TV.
When Sarah and I spend long days at the clinic, there is nearly always a television going nonstop in the corner. Typically it plays Snow White (not sure why it's almost always that one), sometimes a different Disney cartoon, and then...whatever happens to be on Nickelodeon or Disney ALL DAY LONG. Those are supposed to be kids networks, right? At home our kids are not allowed to watch TV all day like that, and they aren't allowed to watch anything we haven't previously approved, so they have never seen (at least I'm pretty sure they haven't) the programming that blares on in the corner all day. Things like Hannah Montana, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody (did I get the spelling right on that one?), and, what's the other one...iCarly. And I had never seen them either. Normally while they are on I don't really pay any attention.
Well, one of the last times Sarah had to have a transfusion, she fell asleep in my arms, and there I was in a comfy recliner, in a different room, but still with a TV in the corner, this time a huge flat screen, pretty much right in front of my face. So iCarly came on, and I decided to really watch it and see what kind of stuff Hollywood is feeding our kids these days.
That same show came on twice in a row. The first episode was actually okay. The characters didn't seem to be bad role models or anything, the plot was cute and kind of funny in a goofy tween kind of way, and I thought, "Huh...maybe I was too quick to judge these shows. That really wasn't bad at all."
And then the next episode started. The plot began that the main character, Carly's, relatives were coming over, and they were really dorky people. They had a lot of food allergies, and they were annoying, and so terribly dorky that this very popular girl could not stand the thought of having to be around them for the couple of hours that they were going to be visiting. So she was begging her best friend and brother to stay and keep her company while they were there. At this point I was thinking, "Oh. There is going to be a twist. The dorky family is going to have changed, and her friend will end up having a crush on the cousin or something like that."
I was wrong, the family comes for the visit, and they are as nerdy as Carly said they would be. Dressed out of style, socially awkward, the boy has a cone around his neck like a dog that's been to the vet...stuff like that. The best friend takes one look at this family, turns up her nose and beats it out of there as fast as she can, and Carly is tragically left alone with them. But the thing is, this family is really nice. As friendly, smiley, kind and polite as they can be, oblivious to the fact that their cousin is looking at them like they are smelly animals. She is forced to endure the hardships of playing games with them like Duck Duck Goose for hours until they finally leave with a smile and a wave.
The sub plot in the show involves Carly's other friend who is a boy. He took up fencing unbeknownst to his mother, and when she finds out she is not happy. Of course, she is the stereotypical out of touch parent while her son is the handsome, savvy cool kid. When she tells him he has to stop fencing, he completely disrespects her and comes off as the hero who stands up to his mom.
So, I'm sorry to say that my hunch was right. I was so disgusted with this show. First of all, I was under the impression that America was becoming much more "tolerant," right? I thought the concensus was that schools and parents should teach kids to accept people as they are, no matter what. I guess what they mean is, that "cool" kids should be tolerant within reason. I mean, if people are dorky, it is totally fine to make fun of them, call them names (they did in the show), and basically think of them as unworthy scum because they look and act a little different. Never mind that they are really nice people. This was the message this TV in the corner was blaring to all the kids in the room. I sat there wondering what people would have thought if it was an African American family coming to visit or a homosexual family. But nerdy?? You guys are fair game.
And the "cool" boy talking back so boldly to his mousy, doormat mom? Why don't parents see anything wrong with this picture? I sat there wondering how many parents actually sit down and watch the garbage going into their kids' minds.
And in between episodes, and during the commercial breaks, there were little rock music videos and previews of upcoming shows. You know what they were all about? Boy/girl relationships. Really young teen girls singing and dancing--you know the kind of videos. Flirting, tight clothes, even kissing...yeah. And I am pretty sure these shows are marketed to kids my Jacob's age--like 10-12 probably? Maybe younger. Wow.
Oh my...I am sad about the world our kids are growing up in. The media pushes them to grow up so fast, be cool, like boys (or girls) disrespect authority, and still today in 2010, it is subtily or not so subtily fed to them that it is okay to look down on people who are not like you.
Heaven help us.
And suffice it to say that our kids are still not allowed to watch these kid shows. I think some of what comes on the Discovery Channel is still good...
Friday, August 27, 2010
Patience...Patience...
This was just taken--Obviously she doesn't let anything bother her for long! Oh, and notice the thermometer in her right hand. It's her new favorite "toy" along with her "froggy hug." ; )It's been kind of a hard week for Sarah. Since her treatment in her eye on Monday, she's had pain and sensitivity in her eye on and off. About a quarter of the time she keeps it closed. Sometimes when it's open she seems pretty okay, but sometimes it really seems to be bothering her. We've been giving her tylenol to help, but I will just be glad when this part is done. The sad thing is she has to have at least one more round of this cryotherapy near the end of next month, and maybe another dose of chemo in her eye too.
Also, Sarah's main doctor called the other day and said that since Dr. Aaburg wants to do this treatment one more time, she wants to wait on her big mega-dose of chemo until after he's done, pushing back that hospital stay until October. And, she wants her to have one more regular dose of chemo in the meantime. This Tuesday. : ( That makes me sad because they had told us before that we were all done with regular doses of chemo, and I was so excited about that. I had thought we would be done before school, and we would have a little bit of time without having to worry about low blood cell counts and clinic appointments to have some family fun, go camping, whatever. Now, everything is pushed back. Did you catch all that? Anyway, all that to say that I am bummed that we have to do another round of chemo. Bummer, bummer, bummer. : (
Buuuuut...it's okay. Because really we are in the home stretch. One more dose is not 5 more doses. October will be here before we know it, and that is (hopefully) the end of treatment all together! God is good. Those tumors are hitting the road.
From my devotional (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young):
"I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me."
2 Corinthians 4:17-18--For our light affliction which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Today's treatment and update
Sarah's visit with Dr. Aaburg, the eye cancer specialist, went as smoothly as could be expected. Sarah was charming as usual and the nurses loved her. : ) The worst part of the morning was that she had to get 3 sets of eye drops, and she detests those. Other than that, no pokes, no pain, and no problems. He did some cryotherapy (freezing treatment) in there and injected chemotherapy into that eye. Then he came out and showed me the pictures he took today with the results from the last treatment.
He is very pleased with what he is seeing! He showed me where there used to be quite a few small tumors in there, and that they are all "dead" now except for one very stubborn one. That one is obviously the focus now. And even that one is making good progress, he said. It's so exciting to have such good results in just three weeks time. God is being so good to us. I know He could just wipe out that last tumor in the blink of an eye if He wanted to, but I guess He wants us to keep leaning on Him for a while longer. Sometimes there is a reason for the road to stretch longer than we would like it to if we had our way.
The cool thing is that after I had prayed and given this morning and it's concerns to God, I sat there in that waiting room all alone this time, and really enjoyed the time just soaking in the little things all around me. I put my feet up and sipped yummy hazelnut coffee, savoring the chance to read a good book. There was a couple sitting nearby who were speaking a different language, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Some Middle Eastern language maybe. And there was a different couple speaking Spanish. I love listening to people speaking in different languages. It just reminds me of how big our world is, and how neat it is to live in America where we can enjoy such diversity of different cultures in our own backyard.
And there were two ladies talking across the room from me who had just met each other. An older African American lady and a white lady not much older than me. I wished I could have been sitting over there because I would have loved to join in their conversation. The older lady was speaking in hushed tones, but with such passion and wisdom. I caught words now and then and could tell they were talking about husbands and children, and sharing about some hard times. You could just feel the years of experience emanating from this special lady, and her outlook was so positive and uplifting. I could almost guarantee that this woman knew the Lord, her sweet Spirit was so overwhelming. It was almost magnetic.
I enjoyed praying and thinking, reading and observing, and then of course I was so thrilled to hear the good news about my baby. Really, so much of life is a treat when you just allow it to be. It's all about not taking things for granted and just living in the moment.
And finally when we got home, Sarah listened to Itsy Bitsy Spider, and then we took a long nap. And really, does it get any better than that?
He is very pleased with what he is seeing! He showed me where there used to be quite a few small tumors in there, and that they are all "dead" now except for one very stubborn one. That one is obviously the focus now. And even that one is making good progress, he said. It's so exciting to have such good results in just three weeks time. God is being so good to us. I know He could just wipe out that last tumor in the blink of an eye if He wanted to, but I guess He wants us to keep leaning on Him for a while longer. Sometimes there is a reason for the road to stretch longer than we would like it to if we had our way.
The cool thing is that after I had prayed and given this morning and it's concerns to God, I sat there in that waiting room all alone this time, and really enjoyed the time just soaking in the little things all around me. I put my feet up and sipped yummy hazelnut coffee, savoring the chance to read a good book. There was a couple sitting nearby who were speaking a different language, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Some Middle Eastern language maybe. And there was a different couple speaking Spanish. I love listening to people speaking in different languages. It just reminds me of how big our world is, and how neat it is to live in America where we can enjoy such diversity of different cultures in our own backyard.
And there were two ladies talking across the room from me who had just met each other. An older African American lady and a white lady not much older than me. I wished I could have been sitting over there because I would have loved to join in their conversation. The older lady was speaking in hushed tones, but with such passion and wisdom. I caught words now and then and could tell they were talking about husbands and children, and sharing about some hard times. You could just feel the years of experience emanating from this special lady, and her outlook was so positive and uplifting. I could almost guarantee that this woman knew the Lord, her sweet Spirit was so overwhelming. It was almost magnetic.
I enjoyed praying and thinking, reading and observing, and then of course I was so thrilled to hear the good news about my baby. Really, so much of life is a treat when you just allow it to be. It's all about not taking things for granted and just living in the moment.
And finally when we got home, Sarah listened to Itsy Bitsy Spider, and then we took a long nap. And really, does it get any better than that?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Cock a Doodle Doo!!
She loves that trampoline!
Giving her dolly's "tubees" a drink, just like the nurse does
Sarah and her nurse, Annie, at the picnic on Saturday
A nice bright and early morning for us tomorrow...(and I am not a morning person, I tell ya.) We have to be at the hospital for a blood draw at 6:15 in the morning, and then we head to the dr.'s office where Sarah will be getting another eye exam under sedation and probably more treatment. Maybe more laser and freezing treatments, and probably another dose of chemo in the eye. It may be another long day of Itsy Bitsy Spider, and that is totally fine.
Please be praying that those tumors have shrunk. So far we haven't seen barely any change in them. And pray that Sarah will not have to go a whole week without opening her eye again. They are going to give her a steroid to try and prevent that from happening this time.
Yesterday we went to the big annual picnic for pediatric cancer patients and their families. There was a lot of free food, crafts, prizes, a dunk tank, all sorts of fun stuff. And many of the oncologists and nurses were there, even taking their turn in the dunk tank! What awesome people they are. We are so thankful for the loving care we have received and the friendships we have made since we started this journey. There really are wonderful people in this world. : )
You are some of those people. Thank you so much for following along with us and praying us through! God is truly answering your prayers!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Grumpy but good
You know how when you are really really tired and worn out, the bad things seem to be worse? Well, I am really really tired and worn out today. And weary. So, since I don't feel worn out and grumpy very often, I thought I would write a grumpy sort of post today. Here you go...
It bugs me when Christians seem to be so comfy in this world.
I hate it when my kids complain about school when really getting a good education is a priceless gift.
It annoys me when I constantly have to wash towels.
I hate seeing pictures of orphans that need homes, and I can do nothing about it, and it seems like no one else is either.
I am tired of our house always being cluttered.
I am running out of things to complain about...
I don't feel like making dinner.
This is getting annoying. Really, I am thankful for my washing machine and towels, my house even though it is cluttered, and that I can teach my kids at home, bad attitude or not. Thankful that I have the ability to make dinner and food to eat, and thankful that God is in control of everything including making sure the orphans are cared for. And what other Christians do is none of my business.
That feels so much better. : )
It bugs me when Christians seem to be so comfy in this world.
I hate it when my kids complain about school when really getting a good education is a priceless gift.
It annoys me when I constantly have to wash towels.
I hate seeing pictures of orphans that need homes, and I can do nothing about it, and it seems like no one else is either.
I am tired of our house always being cluttered.
I am running out of things to complain about...
I don't feel like making dinner.
This is getting annoying. Really, I am thankful for my washing machine and towels, my house even though it is cluttered, and that I can teach my kids at home, bad attitude or not. Thankful that I have the ability to make dinner and food to eat, and thankful that God is in control of everything including making sure the orphans are cared for. And what other Christians do is none of my business.
That feels so much better. : )
Monday, August 16, 2010
What to write...What to write...
I don't like to go too long between posting things. I have lots running around in my mind, but sometimes it doesn't feel like the right time to write it yet. So, I decided that now and then I would just share some of the cute things my kids have said over the years that make me smile. I think you'll like them too. If you have kids, don't you agree with me that they are the biggest blessing in the universe?? The Bible tells us straight out that children are a blessing and a reward. Some don't see it that way for some reason, but I don't get it because they just give me so much JOY!
Jacob age 9--(Talking about our dog, Samson) "He's stinky. He smells like chicken-n-dumplings. In a stinky way.
Ben age 3--(After I took a shower) "Mommy, why did you put your towel off? Your hair looks- um, um, um- not the same as- um, um- your same hair."
Ben age 4--"Are your brains squishy, or not?"
Jacob age 9--(Ben did a page in his workbook and I gave him a sticker.) "Ben, you're lucky you have me for a big brother, because I'm gonna give you an A+!" (And he wrote A+'s on his pages with smiley faces.) : )
Ben age 5 1/2--"I have manly hair. (on his arms.) I can't believe how much manly hair I have."
Ben age 3 or 4--(He really wanted a baby stroller and pacifier and Daddy kept saying no...) "Dear Jesus, Thank you that I took a nap, and please help me to be good and to not have a bad attitude, and please help us to get to heaven quickly because I think there's a baby pacifier and stroller there. In Jesus Name, Amen." (Daddy did give in, by the way.)
And about Sarah...she is doing great! Today she smiled and laughed at everything all day. Even at things that are not in the least bit funny. You would never ever know that little girl just had chemotherapy. God is blessing her so much.
That just reminded me of something. When we started this whole cancer thing, I felt like God gave me a picture in my mind. I envisioned us all on a boat floating on tumultuous seas. But as the waters were raging in the storm under the boat, we inside it were just skimming across the waters not feeling a thing. I felt like God was saying that that was what He was going to do for us. Hold us up so we would barely feel the storm. He certainly is doing that for us, and especially for our Sarah who is blissfully unaware that anything is wrong with her. Praise His Name!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Things I would tell Sarah's mother
Before I get into my post today, I will let everyone know that Sarah is doing great! She is recovered from her surgery/laser treatments, and opened her eyes last Monday. She had her final regular round of chemo last weekend and flew through it like nothing happened. She is one amazing little girl...
My heart is completely overflowing with love for our precious Sarah. Our whole family is just completely smitten by this little pixie who arrived in our lives last October and brightened our world with her smile. I remember God whispering to me that He would bless us with this girl. Oh, what a blessing she is.
The only thing that blocks my joy from being complete is knowing that our precious Sarah has another family out there. Somewhere in China she has another mother who loved her and no doubt thinks of her still. We can only guess at why she chose to say good-bye to her two month old baby, but with all of my heart I wish that I could talk to her today. There are so many things I would like to tell her. Here are some of them...
I would love to tell her that Sarah is happy. She loves to laugh! Her whole face fills up with her smile, and her eyes squint into little crescent moons.
She loves to go "higher!" on the swings, and flip upside down, and ride up high on shoulders, and pretend like she's flying, and get tossed on the bed.
She loves her brothers because they all like to be silly with her and make her laugh.
She loves her big sister because her big sister thinks the world of her and tries to spoil her rotten if we let her.
She loves to read books and sing songs with Mommy. She really really loves the Itsy Bitsy Spider. It was the first song I sang to her in China that made her laugh really hard, and it is still her favorite. She talks about spiders, wants us to draw pictures of spiders, and even carries a little spider puzzle piece around with her. She talks about kissing spiders and cuddling spiders!
She is so tenderhearted. She loves her stuffed animals, and hugs and cuddles and kisses them every day. She is learning again what a mommy does, and she is a good mommy to her "babies." When she thinks someone is crying she wants to hug them and give them a kiss.
She is friendly! She says, "Hi, people!" and "Hi, baby!" or "Hi, boy!" When someone is leaving, she says, "Have fun! Nice day! Next time!" (Have a nice day...See you next time...)
She is strong. Able to adapt to new situations. When we first got her, she accepted her new life amazingly well, and bonded with her new parents so easily and happily. After her first week in the hospital when it was obviously scary, she adapted quickly, and then embraced her new normal...she just accepts things as they are with joy.
She is a favorite with the nurses, doctors, even the housekeepers...I wish I could tell her mother how everyone loves her so.
She is smart. She doesn't miss a thing. She watches closely and remembers. When she couldn't see for that week, I brought her a shapes puzzle with four shapes, each a different color. She hadn't seen the puzzle in a really long time. She could tell what the shapes were by feeling them, and she remembered what color each of them were.
She has the cutest voice. Everyone loves to hear her talk and sing! She is so musically inclined. She loves the piano especially.
She is obedient and quick to learn to behave. When she gets in trouble, she says "I'm sorry Mommy," without being told.
We are so honored to have been given the privilege of raising this priceless treasure. I look at her and try to picture her mother. She must be a special lady. How I wish I could tell her that her daughter is safe and well, and receiving some of the best medical care available in our country.
I would tell her that her daughter is so very loved...so very cherished.
We are doing our very best to be the best parents we can be and thanking our great God for every day we have with our sweet Sarah.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thoughts about Marriage
Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the bride of thy youth...Proverbs 5:18
Yesterday was my hubby's and my anniversary. Sixteen years ago we tied the knot! And four years before that we started dating. So later this month we will have been together for.....
20 years!!!!!!
And considering the fact that I only feel like I'm about 25, that sounds pretty weird to me. ; )
As I pondered this thought the other day (because I'm a pondering kind of person), as I was on my way to an appointment with Sarah which is where I so often am these days, I reflected on our lives together.
Scott and I started dating in 1990. I was only 15 years old. Friends, I would not let my daughters start dating that young!! But, my momma did, so that's what happened. I love the way our relationship started. I wasn't interested in him at first for anything more than a friend, so all the "wooing" came from him. And we really did get along great as friends to start. That's the best way to begin a relationship, for sure. There's a whole story about how we started "going together," or whatever we called it back then, but that will be for another day.
So, after 4 years of that--and 4 years is definitely a LONG time to wait when you are dating, but we needed to grow to be adults first...--we got married. I was 19 (almost 20, I liked to remind people like my parents who thought I was too young), and Scott was 21. We were oh, so very young. I don't regret getting married that young even one little bit, but when I see girls who were my age at the time, I can't believe I got married that young.
I think our marriage has been pretty typical. I don't think anyone would be surprised to know it has not always been easy. I am pretty sure no marriage is always easy, since we do not live in heaven yet. In fact, there have been times in our marriage that were downright difficult. Times when I wondered what in the world I ever married that punk for...(Did I just say that out loud??) And I know he must have thought the same about me. But after all this time, I think we have discovered the secret to a really great marriage. We learned it over time, and sometimes the hard way. And here it is:
Marry the right person. : ) I just threw that in there even though it's probably a given, but sometimes it needs to be said. I married the right person when I married Scott. I loved him with my heart, but I also thought logically about him with my head. We shared core beliefs and values. I knew he would be the kind of person who would provide for our family. I knew what a strong family background he had. I knew how much he loved the Lord. I knew he was the kind of person who would be a good leader in our home, both Spiritually and otherwise. And I really liked him as a person, and that is really important! All of these things will help you to hang in there when times get tough. So, if you are single and reading this, pray and think about who you marry. And if you are already married, go on to the next step...
Die to yourself. That means, get rid of selfishness. I know it sounds so simple, but really, the more I thought about it, when we were going through problems or bumps in our road, it ALWAYS boiled down to one or both of us being selfish. We used to both be pretty bad at this step, and thankfully, we have been growing in the Lord over the years, and learning little by little. We are still not perfect, but oh, how sweet our marriage has been growing as we have learned to grasp this. God wants to bless your marriage, but as long as pride and selfishness are in the way, He really can't do much with it. God will help you if you let Him!
And the third step is....Hang in there! Do not give up. Don't cop out and call it quits! Keep going, keep loving even when you don't feel like it. Aside from obvious reasons, like your life being in danger, or something like that, I want to encourage you to not give up on your marriage. I have seen marriages on the brink of destruction that have come back to life, and there were times in our marriage when we did feel like it was just too hard. But now I am so relieved that we didn't entertain that thought! Our marriage is stronger now than it has ever been. We are reaping the rewards of obeying God and choosing to love each other even when we did not feel like we could. I am just so very thankful for my wonderful husband! He is such a blessing and truly a gift from God. He isn't perfect, but neither am I. ; )
Happy anniversary to US!! And I pray that you will have many happy anniversaries too. : )
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Okay--Here's the Scoop
Have you ever had a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot or on the palm of your hand? Oh my goodness, I hate it when that happens because inevitably it keeps me up itching at night! That is what happened last night, er, this morning at 5:00. I was dead tired from my long day and really wanted to get as much sleep as possible, and low and behold the lovely mosquito bite on my palm woke me up and would NOT stop itching. I ended up having to get up and freeze it with ice, and that did the trick! Finally after an hour I went back to sleep for a little while more.
That doesn't have much to do with anything except to help me explain that I am still tired today. : ( Oh well, I will catch up sometime!
So, yesterday was Sarah's surgery. I will tell you all about it in a minute, but I will start with telling you about my amazing little girl's day when we got home. First of all, she looked pitiful. I thought some might like to see even though it's so sad. She has a huge, bulgy bandage over her right eye that was removed. Her left eye had treatment done to it, and so it was painful and she couldn't open it for the entire day. She still is not opening it today. I know that if I was in that shape for an entire day (and now two days), it would drive me crazy. But Sarah took it in stride. As long as she had some regular tylenol and a lap to sit on, she stayed comfortable enough. We cuddled with her all day and let her nap on our laps or in her bed whenever she wanted. And we let her listen to (because of course she couldn't watch) whatever she wanted all day long. And all she wanted to listen to all day long was one video on youtube: The Itsy Bitsy Spider. All day. And the computer is in our kitchen, so we all listened to Itsy Bitsy Spider--all day. : ) It was so sweet. She knows the video by heart and what is happening on the screen the whole time, so she would give us a running commentary of it each time. She would say, "Hi Spider!" And "Stick," (when the sun hits the clouds with a club to get them to move) and "Squoosh" when the spider gets stepped on. Etc... And she would pretty much say the same things every single time, unless she was falling asleep. But then she would normally wake up enough at the end of the video to mumble, "Itsy Spider again." : )
That was our day. Then at night before bed when I was changing her diaper and putting her jammies on, her eyes were still closed, but she was starting to be back to her old self, smiling and giggling at her brother. The girl is a little champ. And today she still is not opening that eye, but she is acting pretty normal. We had to go the the clinic today to check her blood counts, and while they were taking her blood, even though she couldn't see it, she said, "Hi, blood!" Yes, she is one unique and precious baby girl.
On to the surgery...Dr. Boyle removed her right eyeball, and it went well. He said there was evidence that the cancer had perforated the back of the eye, and so now there are likely microscopic cancer cells in the socket that hopefully the last megadose of chemo will take care of. There may be cancer in the part of the optic nerve that was left in there, but they don't know that yet. Dr. Aaburg worked on the tumors in her left eye. She has a number of tiny ones in there that were treatable with lasers and cryotherapy (freezing.) He said that went well, but there are two in the middle of the eyeball floating in the "jelly" in there that are pesky little stinkers. He said they will be the hardest ones to get rid of because of their density and where they are. He was not able to use his therapies on them this time, or at least not with success. So, she has one more scheduled dose of regular chemo this weekend, and then the megadose/stem cell transplant sometime soon, probably in September, and they will see if that will take care of them. If not, there are still a few more treatment options they can try that are a bit more risky. Please keep praying that God will take care of those. We are praying Sarah will be able to keep her eyesight! (Supposedly, the treatment he did yesterday in that eye should not affect her sight.)
Thank you everyone who is praying for our girl. Every day we learn more and more what a priceless treasure she is. Such a blessing to us in every way. God is teaching us and showing us as days go by how He is here and making Himself known even in hard times. I loved this quote in my devotional book this morning:
That doesn't have much to do with anything except to help me explain that I am still tired today. : ( Oh well, I will catch up sometime!
So, yesterday was Sarah's surgery. I will tell you all about it in a minute, but I will start with telling you about my amazing little girl's day when we got home. First of all, she looked pitiful. I thought some might like to see even though it's so sad. She has a huge, bulgy bandage over her right eye that was removed. Her left eye had treatment done to it, and so it was painful and she couldn't open it for the entire day. She still is not opening it today. I know that if I was in that shape for an entire day (and now two days), it would drive me crazy. But Sarah took it in stride. As long as she had some regular tylenol and a lap to sit on, she stayed comfortable enough. We cuddled with her all day and let her nap on our laps or in her bed whenever she wanted. And we let her listen to (because of course she couldn't watch) whatever she wanted all day long. And all she wanted to listen to all day long was one video on youtube: The Itsy Bitsy Spider. All day. And the computer is in our kitchen, so we all listened to Itsy Bitsy Spider--all day. : ) It was so sweet. She knows the video by heart and what is happening on the screen the whole time, so she would give us a running commentary of it each time. She would say, "Hi Spider!" And "Stick," (when the sun hits the clouds with a club to get them to move) and "Squoosh" when the spider gets stepped on. Etc... And she would pretty much say the same things every single time, unless she was falling asleep. But then she would normally wake up enough at the end of the video to mumble, "Itsy Spider again." : )
That was our day. Then at night before bed when I was changing her diaper and putting her jammies on, her eyes were still closed, but she was starting to be back to her old self, smiling and giggling at her brother. The girl is a little champ. And today she still is not opening that eye, but she is acting pretty normal. We had to go the the clinic today to check her blood counts, and while they were taking her blood, even though she couldn't see it, she said, "Hi, blood!" Yes, she is one unique and precious baby girl.
On to the surgery...Dr. Boyle removed her right eyeball, and it went well. He said there was evidence that the cancer had perforated the back of the eye, and so now there are likely microscopic cancer cells in the socket that hopefully the last megadose of chemo will take care of. There may be cancer in the part of the optic nerve that was left in there, but they don't know that yet. Dr. Aaburg worked on the tumors in her left eye. She has a number of tiny ones in there that were treatable with lasers and cryotherapy (freezing.) He said that went well, but there are two in the middle of the eyeball floating in the "jelly" in there that are pesky little stinkers. He said they will be the hardest ones to get rid of because of their density and where they are. He was not able to use his therapies on them this time, or at least not with success. So, she has one more scheduled dose of regular chemo this weekend, and then the megadose/stem cell transplant sometime soon, probably in September, and they will see if that will take care of them. If not, there are still a few more treatment options they can try that are a bit more risky. Please keep praying that God will take care of those. We are praying Sarah will be able to keep her eyesight! (Supposedly, the treatment he did yesterday in that eye should not affect her sight.)
Thank you everyone who is praying for our girl. Every day we learn more and more what a priceless treasure she is. Such a blessing to us in every way. God is teaching us and showing us as days go by how He is here and making Himself known even in hard times. I loved this quote in my devotional book this morning:
"My Peace is like a shaft of golden light shining on you continuously. During days of bright sunshine, it may blend in with your surroundings. On darker days, My Peace stands out in sharp contrast to your circumstances. See times of darkness as opportunities for My Light to shine in transcendant splendor."
Blessings to you today!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Tired...
Dear friends...
Thank you for praying!!!!! I planned on blogging tonight, but it was such a long day and I didn't get much sleep last night, so I have to go to bed.
I will write tomorrow, but first I'll just let you know that the enucleation was successful. Today was a rough day for Sarah of course, but her pain was controlled pretty well with tylenol. I will tell you all the details about the procedure, the next steps in her treatment, and her day full of Itsy Bitsy Spider tomorrow. I will tell you though, that I will dream about that song tonight, I am sure of it. ; )
God bless each one of you!!
Night night
Thank you for praying!!!!! I planned on blogging tonight, but it was such a long day and I didn't get much sleep last night, so I have to go to bed.
I will write tomorrow, but first I'll just let you know that the enucleation was successful. Today was a rough day for Sarah of course, but her pain was controlled pretty well with tylenol. I will tell you all the details about the procedure, the next steps in her treatment, and her day full of Itsy Bitsy Spider tomorrow. I will tell you though, that I will dream about that song tonight, I am sure of it. ; )
God bless each one of you!!
Night night
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Surgery in the Morning
Hello friends...
Sarah's big surgery day is tomorrow. We will arrive at 6:30 (I wasn't even completely aware that people were actually functioning that early in the morning, but I guess they do) and the surgery begins at 7:30.
God loves to teach us things, and it is one of my favorite things about Him. Going through a trial forces us to have faith or else be swallowed up in misery. I choose to have faith. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I certainly have had trials in my life when I just did not feel able to trust God much at all. But I do know that as I have gone through a number of hard times in my life, the older I get the easier it is to trust Him because I have seen Him come through for me every time. Not always right away of course, or at least not when I thought He should, but always in time before I completely lost it. The Bible is full of examples of His people experiencing trials. He never tells us we will not experience them. But, oh how sweet it is when we take Him at His Word that we can trust Him!
So, lately He has been teaching me to take my faith to the next level. We are trusting Him with our daughter's life. We are trusting Him with her eyesight. We are trusting Him to guide mere human beings' hands as we wait helplessly on the sidelines. And as I learn to trust once again, I have this old song running through my head...
Sarah's big surgery day is tomorrow. We will arrive at 6:30 (I wasn't even completely aware that people were actually functioning that early in the morning, but I guess they do) and the surgery begins at 7:30.
God loves to teach us things, and it is one of my favorite things about Him. Going through a trial forces us to have faith or else be swallowed up in misery. I choose to have faith. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I certainly have had trials in my life when I just did not feel able to trust God much at all. But I do know that as I have gone through a number of hard times in my life, the older I get the easier it is to trust Him because I have seen Him come through for me every time. Not always right away of course, or at least not when I thought He should, but always in time before I completely lost it. The Bible is full of examples of His people experiencing trials. He never tells us we will not experience them. But, oh how sweet it is when we take Him at His Word that we can trust Him!
So, lately He has been teaching me to take my faith to the next level. We are trusting Him with our daughter's life. We are trusting Him with her eyesight. We are trusting Him to guide mere human beings' hands as we wait helplessly on the sidelines. And as I learn to trust once again, I have this old song running through my head...
"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word.
Just to rest upon His promise.
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."
He is so good, isn't He? Oh, how I love my precious Jesus.
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